Today I realised that the word ‘fear’ is an anagram of ‘Aref’, the name of my dad and the Arabic word for ‘The knowledgeable one’.
I have often wondered whether fear is a consequence of knowledge, or the absence of it.
My battles have often been with
that which I can not control
that which I can not accept
that which I fear
that which I love.
And in my grasp for certainty, knowledge has appealed to me. I’ve armed myself with it, parroted it, made crops out of straws with it, profited from its prophecies, somehow ended up believing that by knowing, I am controlling, I am certain.
But the biggest deception is our perception of how much we really know. Just like the Samurai’s destiny is to only ever fall over the hypocrisy of his own sword, knowledge when wielded wrongly, can not be anything but ignorance.